In 2015, over $20 billion was spent on cards, flowers, jewelry and other gifts according to the National Retail Federation. But what do moms really want and how can marketers reach them for a new holiday I’m calling the “un-Mother’s Day”?

Here’s the back story. At a mom blogger conference a few years ago, a conversation among attendees turned to Mother’s Day plans. Every mom in the discussion said they certainly loved the idea of Mother’s Day: a day to relax, be pampered and feel special. As we talked more, the reality proved much different.

Every mom said that while they loved the holiday, they usually ended up planning the celebration and taking care of their own mothers, mothers-in-law and aunts. I asked other groups of moms and even fielded a survey to gather more than anecdotal evidence. The results validated the feeling that while it was a fantastic holiday, in theory, most moms felt that Mother’s Day was a lot of work.

The survey asked moms how they really wanted to celebrate Mother’s Day. Not surprisingly, more than 70% said a mom’s night out, meaning out of the house and not having to cook dinner or fold laundry, was the best way to celebrate motherhood. With this knowledge, I created the first un-Mother’s Day event called National Mom’s Nite Out, celebrated every year on the Thursday before Mother’s Day. It’s a chance for moms to meet up at local events and online and get a much-deserved break.

Focusing on Mother’s Day is certainly important considering the billions in spending. However, I challenge marketers to think about un-Mother’s Day opportunities as well. Reach out to moms with a gift and messaging that recognizes their jobs as “moms,” but also their desire for a night out. Send your product, add in a restaurant and movie gift card, and you’ll be speaking their language. If you’re reaching the right mom influencers, they’ll send you the best thank-you note ever with lots of # love on social media.

If you’re a mom, I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day and I hope you get a chance to round up your girlfriends and take a night off. If you’re a marketer, look for opportunities to reach moms for un-Mother’s Day.

Comment here or tweet me @momtalkradio to continue the conversation.